A Dandelion By Any Other Name

    Today is Thursday November 23, 2023. Thanksgiving. For the first time in my adult life since moving from home I have decided not to participate in family functions. I am tired of watching the slow suicide of my mother. I don't want to expose my child to it anymore. I don't feel stressed today. I don't feel anxious. I do envy those who can bare being around their mothers. Enjoy it even.

     Maybe we are not roses, we are not given on valentines day. Maybe we're not lilies. We don't belong in weddings.  Maybe we're just dandelions. seemingly not note worthy however for a child they are a gift. Yellow bursts in fields of green. wild. our mothers love flowers. As an adult child of an alcoholic mother I can relate to the dandelion. a discarded gift left to develop for themself the meaning of what it is to be a woman, a mother, a lover. Anything really. 

    The library at NKU was discarding books before graduation, among the books was one titled "My Mama's Waltz A Book for Daughters of Alcoholic Mothers". This book is now a treasure in my library alongside "Crackle and Drag" by T.R. Ericson. Another good read for those seeking affirmation for your experiences growing up with a mother who is an addict. On page fifteen of "My Mama's Waltz" a line stood out "I loved my mother very much. I also hated her." It is nice to see someone say it that isn't me. Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier if she weren't here. I digress.

     I mourn for the woman I wish my mother was, however, my gratitude for the life unfolding with my daughter is much greater. Five years ago, living with my parents, pregnant, uncertain of the future I never would have imagined. I never could have dreamed I would be working a 9-4 that would be enjoyable and in the field I studied for. I never imagined actually graduating college. I couldn't imagine not pursuing While there has been misfortune, I still feel abundant.

    Dandelions may be a pest, a lawn killer to some. Historically is has had medicinal purposes. Dandelions can be used as an alternative to caffeine. Like the dandelion, I am loosening hardened soil. So no I may not be a rose, I may not be a lily but like a child I find beauty in the little sun patches any day. I think that is a good thing. 

“Ten Things You Might Not Know about Dandelions.” Maine Organic Farmers and Gardeners, 5 Oct. 2021, www.mofga.org/resources/weeds/ten-things-you-might-not-know-about-dandelions/.

Agnew, Eleanor, and Sharon Robideaux. My Mama’s Waltz: A Book for Daughters of Alcoholic Mothers. Pocket Books, 1999.